No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize