I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize