Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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