So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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