I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
