best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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