I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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