HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
