god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
