Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
