Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
There's even glitter on my cock...
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