i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
