shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
