mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
