so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
