Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Randomize
