She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
