It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
