i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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