your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
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his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
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Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.