Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
