He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
