Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
