He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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