kristin has been a bad kristin
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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