I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
