Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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