I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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