Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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