U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize