just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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