This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
