Kiss
Puke
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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