Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
