So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
cat food counts as protein by the way
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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