My first STD was from a foam party
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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