the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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