Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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