My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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