do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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