note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
