She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize