The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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