Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I touched a dick in church today
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
