you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
