dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.