Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.