we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.