real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
