I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize