i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
