there's paper in my vomit.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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