I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
