I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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