We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
