I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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