very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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