Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dignity is for republicans.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
