I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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