My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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