so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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