somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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