Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
