That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
