Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
